#19- Boxing Day/Black Friday

50%-80% deals. 100% CRAZY. Admit it, you each identify with one of these characteristics.

1 ) Scope-Out Sari- The most prepared of them all the Scope-Out Sari (SOS) gathers coupons and flyers weeks before. The SOS will go into stores to scope out locations of items, and on game-day attacks!

2 ) Line-up Lenny- Did you hear about that really good sale?! Well, Line-Up Lenny (LUL) did, and they have been camping out for those five dollar shoes. DO NOT even think about cutting the line, because you will have to deal with LUL and some pepper spray.

3 ) In and Outskies- “I just want to check out the deals” …five minutes later “ok, I had enough”

4 ) Violence- Don’t Mess.

Line-Up-Lennys in action

5 ) Corner Cam- The line-ups for the changing rooms are extremely long and Corner Cam knows where its at. CC can be spotted in the corner of a clothing store, in a well prepared outfit to try clothes on, trying clothes on. CC is eluded of patience, so the corner will have to do with selfsie shots on the camera phone.

6 ) Cheap’N’Chillin- Why would you shop on a day of sales for regular priced items?!? The Cheap-N-Chillin will only look at racks with markdowns, and if the item is over 20 dollars, forget about it.

7 ) Drag Along A- The mom of the family just really wants to go to Target to check out the deals, and therefore, her children are forced to come along. You can notice the DAA because you will hear children screaming and running up and down aisles. What happened to the peace and quiet of Boxing Day/Black Friday? Oh wait….

8 ) Drag Along B- The children (usually preteen or teens) really want that top that is on sale (or insert any other item) and drag their parents to accompany them, and ultimately pay for them.

You know what to do. Comment. Complain. Whatever

Advertisements

#16- The Dollar Store

The Dollar Store is a wonderful place, prices are cheap and they have everything. By everything, I mean everything from items to people.

1) Student Project- Does this really need an explanation? Students need poster board, crayons and some canned soup (why not?)…. Dollar Store has them all.

2) Grocery Gettin- These people know where its at. They are usually living on their own and have an insane budget. Why buy soup for a dollar when you can get two for a dollar? Why would anyone shop at a real grocery store when they are on a budget? Just don’t compete over the last Mr. Noodle bowl, some serious heat will go down.

3) Bored Barbara- Sometimes you just want to get out of the house. The BoBar does just that. They will go and just peruse The Dollar Store and try to justify that she/he is in need of certain items…. one hour later, BoBa is making crafts.

4) Fidgety Family- I don’t know why a Family would come to the Dollar Store in the first place. One, it is cramped in there (so many goods so little space), Two, the child is bound to steal something because there is just too much stuff. Families split up, and get lost, and soon you’ll hear a mother screaming for her child. Don’t worry, your child is in the aisle with colouring books and birthday supplies.

Everyone needs to acknowledge that a Dollar Store has a certain smell........ is that the smell of sale?

5) Holiday Hungry- Ok, so the Dollar Stores are really on top of their holidays. So why go to Walmart or Target to get your decorations, when the Dollar Store has everything you need?! Sure the decor and items are not quite right, but its cheap. The HH will end up spending the same amount or more, because the Dollar Store brings out the shopaholic in them… sucker.

6) Gift Exchange George- Ok, so you have been there, I have been there, everyone has been there. You get suckered in to a gift exchange of some sort with some funny number for a limit. Where else is there to go besides the Dollar Store? No where. “Hey! Let’s exchange junk to each other that we will never use” … great idea!

7) Birthday Bonanza- The Birthday Bonanza is one who is shopping for a birthday party. They are frantic because it is usually left to the last minute, and are in need of some serious Dora hats. Being behind the BB in line is just the worst, because you know they have 100 items.

Comment, Complain, Whatever

#15 The Breakfast Place

Ok, so I realized that I have done “Restaurants” before, but breakfast “joints” are just so much more…. I know because I frequent them! They are for some reason considered the casual place, hence why people go. (I made up that reason, I go because breakfast food is the best)

1) Catch up- The Catch Up includes people who have been out of town for a period of time, or just have not seen each other. For some reason, breakfast is the only option. Drinking their coffees and ordering their very specific egg order, the Catch Up can be heard reminiscing.

2) Hangover Hash- You all know it. You have all been there. The morning after a crazy night and you just have got to debrief what went down! Half the party doesn’t order or doesn’t eat their order because they are fighting to keep last-night’s fun down, and the others are just downing everything left and right “bacon with a side of bacon please”

3) 55+ Heaven- Early Bird specials are taken literally with the 55+. Drinking their morning java whilst eating eggs for 2 dollars is so much better than making eggs at home.

"I am SO hungover, give me some carbs and grease... STAT"

4) Like Mother Like Daughter- Mothers and daughters doing breakfast, because living together 24/7 is not enough.

5) Morning after Madness- That awkward time when two people show their passion for each other and wake up realizing that they are sleeping next to them. “I have to drive you home, so lets go to breakfast.” This is where a one-night-stand can either remain so, or blossom into regular booty-calls, casual dating or even a relationship! “I Do…. want the french toast.”

A little shorter than usual, so if you have any suggestions, leave a comment!

#12 Restaurants

Ok, so there are many types of restaurants, but this post is focusing on your average run-of-the-mill restaurant chains, like Applebees, Earls, Montanas (you know)

1) First Date- OK, so one of my favourite things to do is people watch (as you can probably guess), but especially watch people who I assume are on dates. You can tell if its a first date, by the awkward body language. At tables for two… the girl (if there is a girl in the situation) will not be caught dead with a pasta dish, or something garlicy (its always a trigger by the food).

2) High School Homies- These are people who just got their license, and are asserting their independence by eating at a restaurant. Usually in groups of 4 or 5 (however many a car can fit), the HSH can be seen taking plenty of “mobile uploads” so they can show their friends that they can do these things (eat) without their parents. KUDOS!

3) Fam Jam- The Fam Jam is great. Parents dont feel like cooking, so they feed their children 700 calorie meals for the low price of potential public embarrassment. Kids complaining that they want dessert, the Fam Jam is most likely a zoo. Next time.. pick up a box of Mac and Cheese.

The Fam Jam in action!

4) Elder Couples- Elder Couples are cute, and even better when in pairs. The ECs can be seen at restaurants ordering from the 55+ menu and stealing all of the packets of sugar/sweetener that they can! If the waiter is lucky, the EC may even try and set him/her up with their grandchild!

5) Birthday Bumps- At chain restaurants the BB is just so embarrassing. From degrading sing-alongs, or having to wear silly hats, everyone knows whose birthday it is at the restaurant. My favourite type is the embarrassed BB who just hides under the table (that was me).

6 ) Partying Partying Yeah- PPY can be either for a birthday, holiday party, event of some sort, but they are loud and they are proud. They can be seen at tables for 10-14 and ordering drinks upon drinks. These are the Waiter’s favourite… hello tips!

7 ) Complainer- The Complainer is an annoying customer at the restaurant. Complaining about the amount of ice in their drink, to the temperature of their main course, The Complainer is having a bad day, everyday. If the Complainer sees a hair in their food…. bless you all because the exorcism will take place, and you best bet they are getting that meal for free!

8 ) Passive Patty- Passive Patty is the opposite of the Complainer. Although they might mention to their friends that there might be a hair, or that they got something different than they ordered, the PP will not say anything. In fact the PP is just so worried about making sure everyone is happy, that they will still tip their waiter high.

9 ) Quopon Queen (via my sis)– the QQ is someone who goes to the restaurant, simply out of having a coupon. Either a “10% off” or a “BOGO” the QQ will try and get the cheapest deal possible, even if they don’t like the food item! “Mushroom soup… I hate it, but it is BOGO so I might as well…”

 

You know the drill. Restaurants are funny, and so are your comments, so keep them coming!

# 11- Starbucks

Ok, so I was going to wait for my friend who works at Starbucks to help me out with this list, but I am impatient! Starbucks is all sorts of trendy among people of all ages! This will be another long post, lucky readers!

1) Loud-Mouth-Lattes- The LML can also fit into any other category. They sit in Starbucks, and regardless if you are with them or not, you know the conversation! You know that the LML is mad at _____ for doing _____. Don’t even think of confronting the LML, because they will give it right back to you.

2) Lunch-Hour-Loiterers- The LHL is a type that occurs only when there is a school nearby. They come in packs of at least four, and “don’t know what to order.” Yes, they do, it is the Strawberry Creme Frap, like every other time. Leave it to the LHL to spend their allowance money on a five dollar drink.

3) Serious Studier- The Serious Studier, is about as serious as a clown. If you are seriously studying, you hit up a library. At Starbucks, putting on a show for the crowd and getting angry when people are socializing (it is a coffee shop), the Serious Studier will take up a table for four. Obviously they need a chair for their coat, their laptop bag and their books.

4) Social Studier- Now, the Social Studier, is more realistic with their expectations. They know that when coming to Starbucks, not a whole lot of actual studying will get done. They can be seen texting their friends to come meet up, facebooking, tweeting and doing everything but work. Essentially, they just have their laptop open at Starbucks. When in pairs or more, the only thing they are studying is the latest gossip.

"Shhh we are busy studying" ... In a public social place, yep!

5) Mom Macchiatos- I tried to be clever with the titles, but only some (like this one) worked out. The MM is a group that comes together after their yoga/mani/wax/volunteering to just gab. They gab about anything and everything, and is usually routine so they will be there the same time the next day/week.

6) Ira the Impatient- Now, ITI cannot deal with lines. In fact, ITI cannot deal with waiting at all, if their coffee takes more than a minute… you can be sure the ITI will let out a passive sigh. “Sorry Maam/Sir we are just finishing brewing our next pot” “UGH this is a coffee place but ok.” …And you just know that the ITI has a whole stack of “sorry free drink” redeemers.

7) Before Day- No creative names, these are the people who just come before the day begins. Needing that morning fix that their home coffee maker is incapable of doing, there is a morning rush of students and business women/men all itching for some pre-day java.

8 ) Pre-Gym Princess- Because everyone needs to drink coffee before going to the gym. Now unless you’re doing something low impact like walking, there is no reason to be going to Starbucks before the gym. Are they really that addicted? Do they want to show off their new workout attire? Beats me!

Are these RRs or MMs?!

9 ) Post-Gym Protein- Now this is more acceptable. This type makes their first stop after the gym, Starbucks. If I were to be like this, I would be getting one of their protein smoothies, I wish I can say the same about the PGP’s… “Hi I would like to gain back all of the calories I just burned” “Peanut Butter Cookie and Eggnog Latte it is” (they don’t order that, but still)

10 ) Cheap Truck (Trick)- the Cheap Truck is just looking for their fix. After driving long hours, they just need coffee. And then they find out that Starbucks coffee is expensive. And then they freak. And then they make a passive remark about it being expensive. And then they pay anyways and leave.

11 ) Retiring Roasts- This is one of my favourites to see. It just warms my heart when I see the 20-year-ago MMs still getting together. They talk about the books they’re reading, the movies they’re seeing… and the latest funerals they’ve attended… ok, so that last topic isn’t the lightest of heart.

12 ) Dog Walkers- Not really an explanation for this type, except that while walking your dog, you just really crave Starbucks. IT IS A SCIENCE PEOPLE!

13 ) Regulars- These people bother me. Like get a coffee machine and make your own coffee, I hear the Tassimo’s are popular. A Barista should not be able to know your drink. You know you waste too much money when they know your drink. Next time make your coffee, save money, and donate it to your favourite cause (that isn’t Starbucks)

14 ) Work From Homers (via my sis)- Those who go to Starbucks who are “self-employed” and only go so they don’t nap or watch Ellen or The View.

You know the drill! Comment, like, share, suggest, protest, whatever.

pictures are from google search, not my own… not taking credit

#10- Concerts

Ok, So I realize that I have done Hockey Games and I have done Music Festivals… but I realized today that I am missing a very important event, concerts!! Now I have been to my fair share of concerts in the past, and a local radio station about 3 or 4 years ago even pointed it out, that there are specific types that go to concerts. So since the list was never published (I asked like 20 times in the past 3 years for it), I will post my own!

1 ) Idoling- Idoling is someone who seriously fans over an artist, like borderline Stan (stalker fan/Stan from the Eminem song). Wearing memorabilia and knowing every lyric and the setlist even before the show starts, don’t mess with the Idoling. Tears? Probably. They come to the concerts hours early, maybe even days early if it means they can get a glimpse at their idol. “Oh my god they drink coffee just like the rest of us” Yep. They’re human!

2 ) Parents- Nope, I don’t really have a creative title for parents, sorry. The parents are the ones that accompany their children/preteens to concert and have to most likely babysit their child’s friend as well. Unenthused, the Parent does not give two craps about Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber, they just regret that they drove.

3 ) Ticket Winners- Ok, so ticket winners may be fans, but some of the time they are not. They enter contests either as a joke or just to say they won something. They go to the show and sit through the whole thing, or pretend they know the lyrics to the song.

4 ) Friend Finder- The FF made an appearance in the Hockey Game post, and it is just if not more relevant for the concert. Usually waving “I’m over here” and screaming (because obviously a person across the arena can hear them), they are seen mostly on their cell phones. Why not walk around the arena to find them like I do, saves time and embarrassment!

5 ) Here for the Party- So HFTP can also be a fan, but they came to the concert for a good time. Sneaking in bottles of alcohol via their thighs or secret zippers in their purse, the concert is merely just a pre-game for the HFTP. By the second half of the headliner, the HFTP can be seen dancing by themselves and screaming song lyrics that are just not quite correct.

6 ) Bumping Baby Boomers- The Triple B’s are common at reunion tours or older adult contemporary tours (or country). They arrive in their memorabilia from the 70s or 80s donning pleather pants as well, and are ready to sway back and forth like the parents they are. The only difference  between them going to the concert now and back then is that now they are no longer hippies, so can no longer smoke up before hand. Who knows? Maybe they will run into their children.

Are they Here For the Party or Idoling??

7 ) Box Owner- A BO can also be a fan, but attends concerts because they can. They own a box and therefore can do whatever they want. Simple as that. Not really an annoying type because they keep within their box the whole time!

8  ) On Stage Awesome- So this type only appears when the performer decides to bring someone on stage. This person is almost always a) a cute child b) an Idoling or c) where did they come from?! The child/idoling will always sing along, and the where did they come from? is most likely HFTP.

9 ) Opening Act Fanatic- The OAF is strictly at the concert for the opening act. While people are usually rude and not paying attention to the opening act, the OAF is Idoling, and yelling at people for respect. “One day _____ Will get to play Madison Square Garden as a headliner and I can say I was there when they opened for _____”

10 ) Is That Dancing?- The ITD is someone who stands during a concert, but doesn’t quite dance. Maybe a bit of a head nod or some bodily swaying, the ITD mostly likes to remain static.

You know the drill…. comment if I missed some serious types. I probably did.

The Nerdist has a funny list too… so check it out HERE

#9- The Grocery Store

*So it is Sunday night and I am posting, but its only because I have nothing to do right now, so if I forget a day this week, relax (by that I mean Wednesday )*

Oh man, whether it is your neighbourhood supermarket or chains such as Safeway or Sobeys… the people you see shopping are endless! This post is going to be a longer one, because frankly, I hate going to the grocery store because of most of these people below (I am 7 for sure).

1 ) Slow’N’Seventy- The SNS is one of the more irritating people you see at the grocery store. Kudos for being 70 and being able to grocery shop, but for goodness sakes you need to pick up the pace. Always with a shopping cart and a paper list (people still use those?), the average shopper will be able to lap the SNS 5 times down one aisle…. NEWSFLASH the Cranberry Juice is in the next aisle, and I will just go get it for you!

2 ) Caking’N’Baking- The Caking’N’Baking (see what I did there with the multiple “N” titles (2) ) is someone who is grocery shopping for the purpose of baking or cooking something. Whether it is for a bake sale, a birthday or for fun, the CNB lingers in the Cake Mix aisle for about 10 minutes… because, what is the difference between Vanilla and French Vanilla?!

3 ) Newly Roomates/Roomdates- This pairing of people is a real joy. Newly living together (whether romantically or not) the NR come grocery shopping and are shocked at the differences they find in one another! “Oh my, you can’t drink regular milk? Does that mean we need to buy Soy as well, what about cheese? Can you have Cheese?” Nope. They cannot, goodbye pizza night!

4 ) Fighting Couples- Fighting Couples can be of any age, as fighting, as we know, is universal. They fight over everything in sight “I want Cheerios” “No! We need to get the store-brand brand because its cheaper” or “You should be watching your cholesterol, put that down” are common phrases you will hear.

5 ) Family Part A (older children)- So I put the Families in two different sections, because frankly, they are different. FPA includes a parent (usually one, because why would an older youth go grocery shopping with both) and a child over the age of 15. The child (or teen) is usually being forced to go, and therefore will make the experience a nightmare. They feel the need to punish their parent by this burden of grocery shopping, so you will often see the youth bickering with their parent and sneaking food into the grocery cart. 500 dollars later, and the parent regrets forcing their child to come.

Family Part B in action!

6 ) Family Part B (younger children)- FPB is usually a whole family outing. With children under the age of 12, it can get messy. The children are grabbing food left and right, sometimes even opening it. There are tears and tantrums.. and if you see this family in action, you turn in the opposite direction….and run. Usually hiding in the treat aisle is a safe bet, because if the parents take the FPB there…. it turns into a warzone, so it is usually avoided.

7 ) Move It Or Lose It- The MIOLI is someone who cannot be bothered by the presence of anyone. Knowing where to go and what to get, the MIOLI wants to be in and out. Don’t think about cutting the MIOLI with your shopping cart, or you will not be hearing the end of it. MIOLI is usually a solo shopper, as other people slow them down. They are on a mission, and that mission is to get the heck out of the grocery store.

8 ) The Couponer/Budget Betty- This type has been glorified on TV lately by TLC’s “Extreme Couponing”. They are not a type you want to be behind in line. Taking forever and asking for price checks on every item, This type is almost a burden. Never mind the fact that they are cheating the system, they are also cheating you and your time. Don’t even think about fighting them for the last of an item that is on sale, that can be double couponed… or it will be on!!

9 ) Wannabe Couponer- Almost more annoying than the Couponer/BB, the Wannabe Couponer, is a type that tries to be like the C/BB. Also doing price checks on every item, the excitement remains on the WC’s face when they find out that an item, is in fact, on sale. Telling everyone around them about the savings they saved, the C/BB’s are somewhere rolling their eyes, because they would have done a better job.

10) Party Hostin- The PH is similar to the CNB. Although not even in the slightest annoying, its amusing to watch the PH try and find Party Trays for everything. Ridding the shelves of frozen appy’s and meat and cheese trays, the PH is regretting the fact that they are hosting a party and not catering.

11 ) Where Is It?- WII, arguably the most annoying of them all, is someone who does not know where anything is. Wandering aimlessly through the aisles, the WII is holding everyone up, including the SNS. “Excuse me, do you work here? Can you help me find the Kraft Dinner?” “Oh umm miss, its right in front of your face”

If I missed any, comment and I will potentially add it in (with credit)!