#21- The Polar Bear Dip

A New Years tradition that I just discovered this year (as I am from a city where water becomes ice this time of year). Hundreds of people run into the cold cold water usually to raise money for a cause (or cure a hangover).

1) The Family- Families will come together and take in this bonding experience together. Usually sported in family shirts saying “______ family polar bear dip (insert year), they run in together, run out together.

2) The First Timer- Usually The First Timer will have just heard about the dip most likely within the week. They think “it could be fun” so they do it. No preparation, so usually they won’t have a towel, or a change of clothes. OOPS

3) The Couple- “we can make it our thing” … (I saw a Just Married couple in onesies)

4) The Veteran- The Veteran is someone who has been participating in the dip for many years. The cold water feels good, and that facebook status saying “I have done the dip for my 10th year” feels even better.

It looks like Jesus decided to dip

5) The Tourist- (ME!) Stumbling upon this event, the tourist is amazed that people actually do this. Taking pictures and watching in awe, the Tourist is usually seen from a distance (because they didn’t bring a swim suit…(no excuse) ).

6) Theme- Sort of like the family, the Theme consists of a pair or a group who all come dressed the same. Not to be mistaken with t-shirts, the Theme is usually a costume of some sort such as “Thing 1 Thing 2”

7) From the Party- The people who are so dedicated, but party too hard. They usually come right from the party (as you can tell via suits, jackets, party accessories) and are still drunk that the cold is refreshing.

8) The Costume- “I am going to go to the Polar Bear Dip and make a statement.” ITS HALLOWEEN+WATER

Is that Rudolph?!

Since this was my first year I only was able to witness these types, any more?!? comment. complain. whatever

#19- Boxing Day/Black Friday

50%-80% deals. 100% CRAZY. Admit it, you each identify with one of these characteristics.

1 ) Scope-Out Sari- The most prepared of them all the Scope-Out Sari (SOS) gathers coupons and flyers weeks before. The SOS will go into stores to scope out locations of items, and on game-day attacks!

2 ) Line-up Lenny- Did you hear about that really good sale?! Well, Line-Up Lenny (LUL) did, and they have been camping out for those five dollar shoes. DO NOT even think about cutting the line, because you will have to deal with LUL and some pepper spray.

3 ) In and Outskies- “I just want to check out the deals” …five minutes later “ok, I had enough”

4 ) Violence- Don’t Mess.

Line-Up-Lennys in action

5 ) Corner Cam- The line-ups for the changing rooms are extremely long and Corner Cam knows where its at. CC can be spotted in the corner of a clothing store, in a well prepared outfit to try clothes on, trying clothes on. CC is eluded of patience, so the corner will have to do with selfsie shots on the camera phone.

6 ) Cheap’N’Chillin- Why would you shop on a day of sales for regular priced items?!? The Cheap-N-Chillin will only look at racks with markdowns, and if the item is over 20 dollars, forget about it.

7 ) Drag Along A- The mom of the family just really wants to go to Target to check out the deals, and therefore, her children are forced to come along. You can notice the DAA because you will hear children screaming and running up and down aisles. What happened to the peace and quiet of Boxing Day/Black Friday? Oh wait….

8 ) Drag Along B- The children (usually preteen or teens) really want that top that is on sale (or insert any other item) and drag their parents to accompany them, and ultimately pay for them.

You know what to do. Comment. Complain. Whatever

# 17- Children Sporting Events

So my first post dealt with Hockey Games… but what about those peewees who bring a crowd?! They always bring quite the variety to the event, and you just know these ones will appear, in fact, you might just be one!

1)  Soccer Mom- You know… the one who rolls up in the mini-van/SUV with a carpool of fellow peewees, usually feeding them carrots and dip at break time, and making sure they drink two cups of juice. Don’t diss her cookies though….

2) Settle Down Sam- Interchangeable for both Mom/Dad… but these are the ones who harrass the teams coach for reasons such as “why did my _____ not play first” “how come ____ is on the bench” “you are favouring _____” …. otherwise known as the helicopter parent.

3) Extended Fam- These are cute. These are the ones in the stands who come in crowds of 20, ranging from grandparents to cousins to girlfriends and boyfriends of siblings, they are all there to root on that one child, even if he/she is on the field/ice/court for a total of 5 minutes.

4) Friendly Neighbours- “Oh your son/daughter plays _____, well we will have to come watch a game” AND THEY DO. If you are lucky they will bring snacks as well.

Can you spot the stereotype?!

5) Unenthused Ursula – UU is usually a sibling who is being forced to come to the game. Depending on age they can be seen either on a Nintendo DS/cell phone, waiting to get the heck out of there!

6) Who is That?!- The questionable ones in the stands. Are they safe?  Are they related? Are they a scout?! (ha, ok well maybe not that last one for peewees).

7) Sideline Coaches- Worse than the Settle Down Sam, the Sideline Coach is directing the game from the sidelines. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE LEFT, TAKE HIM OUT” …. relax my friend, this game is for children.

you know the drill. comment, complain, whatever.

#9- The Grocery Store

*So it is Sunday night and I am posting, but its only because I have nothing to do right now, so if I forget a day this week, relax (by that I mean Wednesday )*

Oh man, whether it is your neighbourhood supermarket or chains such as Safeway or Sobeys… the people you see shopping are endless! This post is going to be a longer one, because frankly, I hate going to the grocery store because of most of these people below (I am 7 for sure).

1 ) Slow’N’Seventy- The SNS is one of the more irritating people you see at the grocery store. Kudos for being 70 and being able to grocery shop, but for goodness sakes you need to pick up the pace. Always with a shopping cart and a paper list (people still use those?), the average shopper will be able to lap the SNS 5 times down one aisle…. NEWSFLASH the Cranberry Juice is in the next aisle, and I will just go get it for you!

2 ) Caking’N’Baking- The Caking’N’Baking (see what I did there with the multiple “N” titles (2) ) is someone who is grocery shopping for the purpose of baking or cooking something. Whether it is for a bake sale, a birthday or for fun, the CNB lingers in the Cake Mix aisle for about 10 minutes… because, what is the difference between Vanilla and French Vanilla?!

3 ) Newly Roomates/Roomdates- This pairing of people is a real joy. Newly living together (whether romantically or not) the NR come grocery shopping and are shocked at the differences they find in one another! “Oh my, you can’t drink regular milk? Does that mean we need to buy Soy as well, what about cheese? Can you have Cheese?” Nope. They cannot, goodbye pizza night!

4 ) Fighting Couples- Fighting Couples can be of any age, as fighting, as we know, is universal. They fight over everything in sight “I want Cheerios” “No! We need to get the store-brand brand because its cheaper” or “You should be watching your cholesterol, put that down” are common phrases you will hear.

5 ) Family Part A (older children)- So I put the Families in two different sections, because frankly, they are different. FPA includes a parent (usually one, because why would an older youth go grocery shopping with both) and a child over the age of 15. The child (or teen) is usually being forced to go, and therefore will make the experience a nightmare. They feel the need to punish their parent by this burden of grocery shopping, so you will often see the youth bickering with their parent and sneaking food into the grocery cart. 500 dollars later, and the parent regrets forcing their child to come.

Family Part B in action!

6 ) Family Part B (younger children)- FPB is usually a whole family outing. With children under the age of 12, it can get messy. The children are grabbing food left and right, sometimes even opening it. There are tears and tantrums.. and if you see this family in action, you turn in the opposite direction….and run. Usually hiding in the treat aisle is a safe bet, because if the parents take the FPB there…. it turns into a warzone, so it is usually avoided.

7 ) Move It Or Lose It- The MIOLI is someone who cannot be bothered by the presence of anyone. Knowing where to go and what to get, the MIOLI wants to be in and out. Don’t think about cutting the MIOLI with your shopping cart, or you will not be hearing the end of it. MIOLI is usually a solo shopper, as other people slow them down. They are on a mission, and that mission is to get the heck out of the grocery store.

8 ) The Couponer/Budget Betty- This type has been glorified on TV lately by TLC’s “Extreme Couponing”. They are not a type you want to be behind in line. Taking forever and asking for price checks on every item, This type is almost a burden. Never mind the fact that they are cheating the system, they are also cheating you and your time. Don’t even think about fighting them for the last of an item that is on sale, that can be double couponed… or it will be on!!

9 ) Wannabe Couponer- Almost more annoying than the Couponer/BB, the Wannabe Couponer, is a type that tries to be like the C/BB. Also doing price checks on every item, the excitement remains on the WC’s face when they find out that an item, is in fact, on sale. Telling everyone around them about the savings they saved, the C/BB’s are somewhere rolling their eyes, because they would have done a better job.

10) Party Hostin- The PH is similar to the CNB. Although not even in the slightest annoying, its amusing to watch the PH try and find Party Trays for everything. Ridding the shelves of frozen appy’s and meat and cheese trays, the PH is regretting the fact that they are hosting a party and not catering.

11 ) Where Is It?- WII, arguably the most annoying of them all, is someone who does not know where anything is. Wandering aimlessly through the aisles, the WII is holding everyone up, including the SNS. “Excuse me, do you work here? Can you help me find the Kraft Dinner?” “Oh umm miss, its right in front of your face”

If I missed any, comment and I will potentially add it in (with credit)!

 

# 5- The Apartment Building

Ok, so I admit I have never actually lived in an apartment building, but by visiting friends and family who do, I am able to get a sense of the different types.

1) Recently Independent- The Recently Independent, is new to the whole “living on your own” thing, and you will know. They will not know the rules of living in an apartment, and might (will) break these rules. What’s that music you hear at 2 AM? Just your new neighbour asserting their independence by blasting Coldplay.

2) What’s That Smell?!- Is it curry? Is it mexican? Is it pizza?! It becomes a guessing game as soon as you approach your floor. the WTS will ALWAYS smell up the hallway with random cuisine…. enough that air fresheners won’t do the trick!

3) Everyday I’m Partying (EIM)- This type, similar to the Recently Independent is a social butterfly. Although not necessarily noisy, people are always coming and going from the EIM apartment. If you are lucky, the EIM is a theme fiend, and you might see such comers and goers in: plaid, flapper dresses, sombreros or formal wear.

4) Cranky McCrankster- Just like it says in the name, the Cranky McCrankster gets his or her joy off of others misfortune. The CMcC complains about everything from temperature to noise and to garbage disposal. Did you get a noise complaint? Did you get a passive aggressive note under your door? That’s just your neighbourhood Cranky McCrankster having a good time.

5) Pet Person- The Pet Person is someone who is hoarding pets in their apartment. Likely breaking apartment regulations, the PP will have more pets then allowed, and will try to be sneaky about it. You smell Cat Urine, or hear dogs barking? Don’t worry, you aren’t going crazy…

Everyday SHE's Partying

Everyday SHE's Partying

6) People Hoarder- Now this type does not necessarily happen everywhere, but it definitely exists in more than one location. The People Hoarder, similar to the PP is an apartment that is hoarding people to ensure a low monthly rent…. Sleeping 7 in a 2 person apartment to pay 100-200 a month instead of 1000 is just a genius idea right?! Are you hearing multiple voices in your head and thinking you’re going crazy? Don’t worry, its just the People Hoarder!!

7) The Family- The Family in an apartment building is like a dog in a dog house, it’s inevitable. The family is loud, but not by music or parties, but by children screaming or parents yelling! Also if you are lucky (like my sister) your family neighbour will have a child who is learning to play the saxophone!!

8 ) Empty Bottle Guy/Girl (added by disseminatedthought) They’re the one who always ensures that the recycling bin is at capacity with an assortment of wine, beer and vodka bottles. There may occasionally be an empty Coke bottle and a flattened soft drink can, but this is rare and indicates that EBG has had a visitors.

I obviously missed out some types, seeing as I don’t live in an apartment… I would like to add on to this post, so leave comments with suggestions or experiences, and I will add it and credit you!

#4- The Airport

Ahhh, the Airport, a fabulous place that gets you from point A to point B, also a fabulous place to people watch.

1 ) This Means Business -(woman/man)- TMB, one of the most common types you will find in an airport. Always donned in a suit, with one black rolling carrying on, the TMB cannot be bothered for one second. The TMB will show up at the latest possible time to avoid lines, and is easily frustrated in the security line. Sitting in coach? Don’t even think about it!

2 ) Unattended Minor- The Unattended Minor is another type seen in the airport, usually alone and either going or coming from the grandparents house. The UM can be often seen with a Nintendo DS/ipod/electronic gadget, looking uninterested to its surroundings. Always accompanied by a flight attendant, who looks less than thrilled.

3 ) The New Traveler- The New Traveler (TNT) is, as expected, new to the whole traveling thing. TNT will show up to the airport more than 2 hours in advance, with passport etc most likely on one of those neck wallets. TNT will be seen asking 20 questions and over-enthused about being strip searched at security.

The Diva (otherwise known as J-Lo, Jenny From The Block)

The Diva (otherwise known as J-Lo, Jenny From The Block)

4 ) The Group- The Group can be broken down to either a school class, a sports team, or some sort of club. All in all, you don’t want The Group to check in the same line as you. They are loud and take FOREVER. Chaperoned by few, The Group asserts their independence by buying over-priced airport food, and take up all the seats at the gate…

5 ) The Diva- The Diva, celebrity or not, The Diva can be either female or male. The female version can be seen strutting around the airport in stilettos and skinny jeans, most likely wearing sunglasses, inside. The same can be said about the male diva, but trade the stilettos for bling. The Diva takes forever at security and takes 2 seats up at the gate (obviously their Marc Jacobs purse needs a spot of their own). If you’re lucky, they will travel with lapdog in tow.

6 ) The Family- The Family (my favourite of them all), might just be the loudest ones in the airport. If there is a mother, then she is most definitely stressed, and making sure the kids are a) not too loud b) occupied with their technology gadgets c) not lost. Along with that, the mother will do the check in, and ask a billion questions… all whilst being distracted by the children. The children, depending on their age, will a) be loud b) be occupied with technology gadgets c) ask “when are we leaving” and “can I buy some food” and d) will want to run around. The father (if there is one) will be too busy on his smart phone, or trying to find information on the latest game to care about the children’s whereabouts.

7 ) The Gapper- The Gapper, also known as the Traveler, Lost Soul, Recent Graduate, is someone who is going away for a long time. They will most likely have a backpack the size of their body on their back, and come rolling in with a goodbye crew. Anxious to leave, The Gapper will try and dodge all bullets to get through security.

8 ) Rowdy Retirees- The Rowdy Retirees (RR) are a fun bunch in the airport. Escaping from the cold to warm places, the RR’s have the biggest grins on their faces. Most likely wearing pastel colours or hawaiian print, the RR’s, although the friendliest of the bunch, will be the slowest of the bunch. Security will ask “Do you have any film in your cameras?” ….. WHY YES THEY DO!

9 ) First-Time-Flying-Together-Couple (idea suggested by Thomas Shannon write up by me 🙂 )- Everyone loves the FTFTC. Kisses before check in. Kisses after check in. Kisses before security. Kisses after security. Usually seen with their arms around each other, they are taking in that moment of going on their first trip alone together, and all of you lucky travellers get to see! Don’t feel obligated to take their picture when you see one of the FTFTC’s with their arm stretched out taking a picture of the two of them…kissing.

If I forgot any common types of airport attendees, comment and I will add it in and credit you!! enjoy!

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