Re: The Apartment Building

A little gem that my sister received….not the full picture for discretion (original post)

Passive Aggressive Landlord


# 5- The Apartment Building

Ok, so I admit I have never actually lived in an apartment building, but by visiting friends and family who do, I am able to get a sense of the different types.

1) Recently Independent- The Recently Independent, is new to the whole “living on your own” thing, and you will know. They will not know the rules of living in an apartment, and might (will) break these rules. What’s that music you hear at 2 AM? Just your new neighbour asserting their independence by blasting Coldplay.

2) What’s That Smell?!- Is it curry? Is it mexican? Is it pizza?! It becomes a guessing game as soon as you approach your floor. the WTS will ALWAYS smell up the hallway with random cuisine…. enough that air fresheners won’t do the trick!

3) Everyday I’m Partying (EIM)- This type, similar to the Recently Independent is a social butterfly. Although not necessarily noisy, people are always coming and going from the EIM apartment. If you are lucky, the EIM is a theme fiend, and you might see such comers and goers in: plaid, flapper dresses, sombreros or formal wear.

4) Cranky McCrankster- Just like it says in the name, the Cranky McCrankster gets his or her joy off of others misfortune. The CMcC complains about everything from temperature to noise and to garbage disposal. Did you get a noise complaint? Did you get a passive aggressive note under your door? That’s just your neighbourhood Cranky McCrankster having a good time.

5) Pet Person- The Pet Person is someone who is hoarding pets in their apartment. Likely breaking apartment regulations, the PP will have more pets then allowed, and will try to be sneaky about it. You smell Cat Urine, or hear dogs barking? Don’t worry, you aren’t going crazy…

Everyday SHE's Partying

Everyday SHE's Partying

6) People Hoarder- Now this type does not necessarily happen everywhere, but it definitely exists in more than one location. The People Hoarder, similar to the PP is an apartment that is hoarding people to ensure a low monthly rent…. Sleeping 7 in a 2 person apartment to pay 100-200 a month instead of 1000 is just a genius idea right?! Are you hearing multiple voices in your head and thinking you’re going crazy? Don’t worry, its just the People Hoarder!!

7) The Family- The Family in an apartment building is like a dog in a dog house, it’s inevitable. The family is loud, but not by music or parties, but by children screaming or parents yelling! Also if you are lucky (like my sister) your family neighbour will have a child who is learning to play the saxophone!!

8 ) Empty Bottle Guy/Girl (added by disseminatedthought) They’re the one who always ensures that the recycling bin is at capacity with an assortment of wine, beer and vodka bottles. There may occasionally be an empty Coke bottle and a flattened soft drink can, but this is rare and indicates that EBG has had a visitors.

I obviously missed out some types, seeing as I don’t live in an apartment… I would like to add on to this post, so leave comments with suggestions or experiences, and I will add it and credit you!