#10- Concerts

Ok, So I realize that I have done Hockey Games and I have done Music Festivals… but I realized today that I am missing a very important event, concerts!! Now I have been to my fair share of concerts in the past, and a local radio station about 3 or 4 years ago even pointed it out, that there are specific types that go to concerts. So since the list was never published (I asked like 20 times in the past 3 years for it), I will post my own!

1 ) Idoling- Idoling is someone who seriously fans over an artist, like borderline Stan (stalker fan/Stan from the Eminem song). Wearing memorabilia and knowing every lyric and the setlist even before the show starts, don’t mess with the Idoling. Tears? Probably. They come to the concerts hours early, maybe even days early if it means they can get a glimpse at their idol. “Oh my god they drink coffee just like the rest of us” Yep. They’re human!

2 ) Parents- Nope, I don’t really have a creative title for parents, sorry. The parents are the ones that accompany their children/preteens to concert and have to most likely babysit their child’s friend as well. Unenthused, the Parent does not give two craps about Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber, they just regret that they drove.

3 ) Ticket Winners- Ok, so ticket winners may be fans, but some of the time they are not. They enter contests either as a joke or just to say they won something. They go to the show and sit through the whole thing, or pretend they know the lyrics to the song.

4 ) Friend Finder- The FF made an appearance in the Hockey Game post, and it is just if not more relevant for the concert. Usually waving “I’m over here” and screaming (because obviously a person across the arena can hear them), they are seen mostly on their cell phones. Why not walk around the arena to find them like I do, saves time and embarrassment!

5 ) Here for the Party- So HFTP can also be a fan, but they came to the concert for a good time. Sneaking in bottles of alcohol via their thighs or secret zippers in their purse, the concert is merely just a pre-game for the HFTP. By the second half of the headliner, the HFTP can be seen dancing by themselves and screaming song lyrics that are just not quite correct.

6 ) Bumping Baby Boomers- The Triple B’s are common at reunion tours or older adult contemporary tours (or country). They arrive in their memorabilia from the 70s or 80s donning pleather pants as well, and are ready to sway back and forth like the parents they are. The only difference  between them going to the concert now and back then is that now they are no longer hippies, so can no longer smoke up before hand. Who knows? Maybe they will run into their children.

Are they Here For the Party or Idoling??

7 ) Box Owner- A BO can also be a fan, but attends concerts because they can. They own a box and therefore can do whatever they want. Simple as that. Not really an annoying type because they keep within their box the whole time!

8  ) On Stage Awesome- So this type only appears when the performer decides to bring someone on stage. This person is almost always a) a cute child b) an Idoling or c) where did they come from?! The child/idoling will always sing along, and the where did they come from? is most likely HFTP.

9 ) Opening Act Fanatic- The OAF is strictly at the concert for the opening act. While people are usually rude and not paying attention to the opening act, the OAF is Idoling, and yelling at people for respect. “One day _____ Will get to play Madison Square Garden as a headliner and I can say I was there when they opened for _____”

10 ) Is That Dancing?- The ITD is someone who stands during a concert, but doesn’t quite dance. Maybe a bit of a head nod or some bodily swaying, the ITD mostly likes to remain static.

You know the drill…. comment if I missed some serious types. I probably did.

The Nerdist has a funny list too… so check it out HERE


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